You might be a redneck if...
On your job application under "SEX" you put "As often as possible".
During your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.
You're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
On your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
Your parakeet knows the phrase "Open up, Police!".
You saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deerhunting.
In tough situations you ask yourself, "What would Curly do?".
Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
You think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines." or "Play Ball..."
You have spray painted your girlfriends name on an overpass.
You consider a six pack and a bug zapper quality entertainment
When someone asks to see your ID and you show them, your belt buckle.
Your Junior and Senior Prom provide Day Care.
You have used lard in your bed.
The primary color of your car is Bondo.
The directions to your house include" turn off the paved road."
Your dog and wallet are both on chains.
Your kids are eating biscuits and gravy because you just had to have the Yosemite Same mud flaps for your car.
You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.
You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.
Jack Daniels makes your list of most admired people.
Your wife's hairdo was created by a ceiling fan.
You see no reason to stop a a Rest Area if you have an empty gallon milk jug in the car.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
You dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car.
You barbecue Spam on the grill.
You have to scratch your sister's name out of the message"For a good time call_________".
Your brother-in-law is also your uncle.
Copenhagen Tobacco sends you Christmas cards.
You bought yourself a VCR so you could tape wresting while you're at the Unemployment Office.
Your Dad walks you to school because you're both in the same grade.
Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
You view the upcoming family reunion as a chance to meet girls.
You prominently display the gift you got at Graceland.
Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.
Your front porch falls in and kills more than three dogs.
You call your boss dude.
You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
You have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
You only need one more punch on your card to a freebie at the "House of Tattoos."
Your father encouraged you to quit school as soon as the job on the lube rack opened.