There is always an easy answer to every human problem --- neat, plausible, and wrong. - MENCKEN'S LAW
There's never time to do it right, but always time to do it over. - MESKIMEN'S LAW
When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe. - MUIR'S LAW
1) If anything can go wrong, it will (and at the worst possible moment). 2) Nothing is as easy as it looks. 3) Everything takes longer than you think it will. - MURPHY'S LAWS
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. - MURPHY'S FOURTH LAW
things get worse under pressure. - MURPHY'S LAW OF THERMODYNAMICS
The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of the time, and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent. - NINETY-NINETY RULE OF PROJECT SCHEDULES
The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on. - NIXON'S THEOREM
An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance. - NOLAN'S PLACEBO
No matter where you are, there you are. - OLIVER'S LAW OF LOCATION
Cleanliness is next to impossible. - O'REILLY'S LAW OF THE KITCHEN
Variables won't, constants aren't. - OSBORN'S LAW
Murphy was an optimist. - O'TOOLE'S COMMENTARY ON MURPHY'S LAW
Work expe tends to rise to the level of his incompetence. - PARKINSON'S LAW
You cannot determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter. - THE LAW OF THE PERVERSITY OF NATURE
Anything that begins well will end badly. (Note: The converse of Pudder's law is not true.) - PUDDER'S LAW
Inside every complex and unworkable program is a useful routine struggling to be free. - RHODE'S COROLLARY TO HOARE'S LAW
Judgement comes from experience; experience comes from poor judgement. - ROBERT E. LEE'S TRUCE
In a crisis that forces a choice to be made among alternative courses of action, people tend to choose the worst possible course. - RUDIN'S LAW
When working toward the solution of a problem it always helps you to know the answer. - RULE OF ACCURACY
Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish yourself as an expert. - RYAN'S LAW
It works better if you plug it in. - SATTINGER'S LAW
People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either one being made. - SAUSAGE PRINCIPLE
Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it. - SHAW'S PRINCIPLE
1) Given any problem containing N equations, there will be N+1 unknowns. 2) An object or bit of information most needed will be least available. 3) Any device requiring service or adjustment will be least accessible. 4) Interchangeable devices won't. 5) In any human endeavor, once you have exhausted all possibilities and fail, there will be one solution, simple and obvious, highly visible to everyone else. 6) Badness comes in waves. - SNAFU EQUATIONS
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission. - STEWART'S LAW OF RETROACTION
1) After months of training and you finally understand all of a program's commands, a revised version of the program arrives with an all-new command structure. 2) After designing a useful routine that gets around a familiar ``bug'' in the system, the system is revised, the ``bug'' taken away, and you're left with a useless routine. 3) Efforts in improving a program's ``user friendliness'' invariable lead to work in improving user's ``computer literacy''. 4) That's not a ``bug'', that's a feature! - THOREAU'S THEORIES OF ADAPTATION
Everything goes wrong at once. - THYME'S LAW
In any collection of data, the figures that are obviously correct beyond all need of checking contain the errors. Corollary 1: No one you ask for help will see the error either. Corollary 2: Any nagging intruder, who stops by with unsought advice, will spot it immediately. - THE LAW OF THE TOO SOLID GOOF
If it happens, it must be possible. - UNNAMED LAW
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do the work. - WEILER'S LAW
An expert is a person who avoids the small errors while sweeping on to the grand fallacy. - WEINBERG'S COROLLARY
If builders built buildings the way programmers write programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. - WEINBERG'S LAW
The obvious answer is always overlooked. - WHITEHEAD'S LAW
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants. - WILCOX'S LAW
As soon as a still-to-be-finished computer task becomes a life-or-death situation, the power fails. - WOOD'S AXIOM
A theory is better than its explanation. - WOODWARD'S LAW
Once you open a can of worms, the only way to re-can them is to use a larger can. - ZYMURGY'S FIRST LAW OF EVOLVING SYSTEM DYNAMICS
Trust everybody ... then cut the cards.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
Exceptions prove the rule ... and wreck the budget.
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
Quality assurance doesn't.
The tough part of a Data Processing Manager's job is that users don't really know what they wam; to steal from many is research.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
He who hesitates is probably right.
The ideal resume will turn up one day after the position is filled.
If somthing is confidential, it will be left in the copier machine.