Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
<-------- The information went data way -------->
The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
Access denied---nah nah na nah nah!
Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay...
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
E Pluribus Modem
...File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.
A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.
11th commandment: Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?
Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
RAM disk is NOT an installation procedure.
All computers wait at the same speed.
DEFINITION: Computer---A device designed to speed and automate errors.
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
E-mail returned to sender---insufficient voltage.
Help! I'm modeming...and I can't hang up!!!
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
Press any key...no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.
Sped up my XT; ran it on 220v! Works greO?_|"
Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
Read my chips: No new upgrades!
Hit any user to continue.
2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!
I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!
Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?
Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (T)hrowup
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
(A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?
(A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?
If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.
Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.
Programmer: A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects.
Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
XMODEM: A spot-marking transfer protocol.
YTERM: A terminal program for queries.
SQWERTY: Computer keyboard sized down for use by children.
SYSTEM GOING DOWN AT 4:45 THIS AFTERNOON FOR DISK CRASHING.
The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.
Documentation is like sex: When it's good, it's fantastic, when it's bad...
Do something unusual today. Accomplish work on the computer.
BATCH: A group, kinda like a herd.
Computer hackers do it all night long.
Computer modelers simulate it first.
Computer programmers don't byte, they nybble a bit.
Computer programmers know how to use their hardware.
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.