The worst thing about hell is that you THINK you're having a really good time.

There is no limit to the amount of good that people can accomplish, if they don't care who gets the credit.

No matter where you go, there you are. - Buckaroo Banzai

When I was young, all I wanted was to be ruler of the universe. Now that isn't enough. - Alex P. Keaton

Fools! Idiots! Don't they realize that they are dealing with forces beyond comprehension! - Doctor Science

Did you ever feel that you were a typewriter, while everyone else in the world was a wordprocessor?

Life would be so much easier if everyone read the manual.

When you asked me to live in sin with you, I didn't know you meant sloth.

Apathetic Surf Club: We don't surf, and we don't care.

Isn't fun like the best thing to have ever? - Arthur

It's not a matter of life or death, but what is? What is?

We had to get it passed before the columnists attacked!

This is MY universe and I'm SICK of people BARGING IN!

Entropy isn't what it used to be.

If God had meant for penguins to fly, he would have given them wings.

When they ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

If we're not listening, we'd have to be pretty blind. - J-L Gassee

Any errors in spelling, tact or fact are transmission errors.

"Where are we going?" "Nowhere." "So what's the rush?" - The Lost Boys

I support the Marcell Marceau Foundation, because a mime is a terrible thing to waste.

If you're not part of the solution, then you're part of the precipitate.

Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by stupidity.

Useless advice #986: Never sit on a tack.

What did the Caspian sea? - Saki

I don't work for no 'Toon!

Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.

OS/2: Just say no!

An Apple-a-day takes my credit card away.

Chief weapons of UNIX: Fear, surprise and ruthless efficiency.

We've got the best government money can buy.

Bove's Theorem: The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches.

Deja Fu: The feeling that somehow, somewhere, you've been kicked in the head like this before.

"Are you ABNORMAL? Then you are probably better than most people! Are alien space monsters bringing a STARTLING NEW WORLD?" - The Book of the SubGenius

A thought for the day: In ``A Clarification of Questions,'' Iran's Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini wrote that ``if a fly gets into the throat of one who is fasting, it is not necessary to pull it out.''

Being in a minority, even a minority of one, does not make one insane. - Winston Smith in Orwell's "1984"

There is a CD out entitled "The Worst of Jefferson Airplane". If you buy this, take it home, play it, and enjoy it, should you take it back and demand a refund?

College is a fountain of knowledge...and the students are there to drink.

A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

IBM: It may be slow, but it's hard to use.

Ernest asks Frank how long he has been working for the company. "Ever since they threatened to fire me," Frank replied.

--------- if you cut here, you'll probably destroy your monitor ----------

The Dalai Lama walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."

When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail. - Abraham Maslow

He who dies with the most toys, is, nonetheless, still dead.

Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.

- Alive, occupying space, and exerting gravitational force.

Photons have mass? I didn't know they were catholic!

Make everything as simple as possible, but not more so.

It is truly written that a man has five times as many fingers as ears, but only twice as many ears as noses.

Goodbye. I am leaving because I am bored. - George Saunders' dying words