Be different: Conform.
A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have enlightened him with ours.
If the odds are a million to one against something occuring, chances are 50-50 it will.
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.
Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.
Acid: Better living through chemistry.
There's no future in time travel.
Hail to the sun god, he sure is a fun god, Ra, Ra, Ra!
There has been an alarming increase in the number of things you know nothing about.
He looked at me as if I was a side dish he hadn't ordered.
Another good night not to sleep in a eucalyptus tree.
Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life. - Eric Hoffer
Always borrow money from a pessimist; they don't expect to be paid back.
Don't feed the bats tonight.
Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.
Anarchy may not be the best form of government, but it's better than no government at all.
Paul's law: You can't fall off the floor.
Vitamin C deficiency is apauling.
Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is.
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they AREN'T after you.
Ban the bomb. Save the world for conventional warfare.
It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so! - Ford Prefect
New York...when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you. - David Letterman
In the end, everybody must understand for themselves. - Martin-Lof
Listen to your surroundings and yourself, instead of Jimmy Swaggert.
Now let's all repeat the non-conformist oath.
Omit needless words. - Strunk and White
This message has been brought to you by the number 5 and the letter F.
This sentence is false with probability 0.5.
It was as small as the hope in a dead man's eyes.
An armed society is a polite society.
"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said, in a rather scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean---neither more nor less."
I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way. - Jessica Rabbit
Computer: "How do you feel?" Spock: "I don't understand the question."
Weird theory #47: Islamic women can do kinky things with their ankles.
That's why the Koran says they aren't supposed to reveal them in public.
The nice thing about standards is, there are so many to choose from.
Z.I.S.es: Zero Information Statements.
While the builders of the cages sleep with bullets, bars and stones, they do not see your road to freedom that you build with flesh and bone.
/earth: file system full.
The race is not always to the swift, but it's a pretty safe bet.
MS-DOS: Just say, "Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?"
If you care about a dream enough, make it into a reality.
Eunichs: The operating system for real men.
To be or not to be; that requires one TTL gate at a minimum, but you could do it with three NAND gates, or just hook the output to Vcc.
Ask a fish head anything you want to. It won't answer you; they can't talk.
Misfortune, n. The kind of fortune that never misses.
Today is the yesterday you worried about tomorrow.