Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - ACTION'S LAW
Social innovations tend to the level of minimum tolerable well-being. - ALBRECHT'S LAW
When all else fails, read the instructions. - ALLEN'S (or CANN'S) AXIOM
When in doubt, mumble. - BOREN'S FIRST LAW
The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches. - BOVE'S THEOREM
If an experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment. - BOWIE'S THEOREM
Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later. - BROOK'S LAW
It's morally wrong to allow naive end users to keep their money. - CANADA BILL JONES' MOTTO
When all else fails, read the instructions. - CANN'S (or ALLEN'S) AXIOM
Nothing is ever a complete failure; it can always serve as a bad example. - CARLSON'S CONSOLATION
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. - CLARKE'S THIRD LAW
The more time you spend in reporting on what you are doing, the less time you have to do anything. Stability is achieved when you spend all your time reporting on the nothing you are doing. - COHN'S LAW
In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired. - CONWAY'S LAW
Experiments should be reproducible. They should all fail in the same way. - LAW OF CONTINUITY
An experiment may be considered a success if no more than half of your data must be discarded to obtain correspondence with your theory. - CORRESPONDENCE COROLLARY
The amount of work done varies inversely with the amount of time spent in the office. - CROPP'S LAW
There are two sides to every argument, unless a person is personally involved, in which case there is only one. - CUTLER WEBSTER'S LAW
The higher the ``higher-ups'' are who've come to see your demo, the lower your chances are of giving a successful one. - DEADLINE-DAN'S DEMO DEMONSTRATION
There is always one item on the screen menu that is mislabeled and should read ``ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE''. - DEMIAN'S OBSERVATION
Virtue is its own punishment. - DENNISTON'S LAW
In a hierarchical organization, the higher the level, the greater the confusion. - DOW'S LAW
A bad sector disk error occurs only after you've done several hours of work without performing a backup. - DR. CALIGARI'S COME-BACK
No matter how large and standardized the marketplace is, IBM (or Microsoft) can redefine it. - ESTRIDGE'S LAW
1) Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse. 2) No matter what results are expected, someone is always willing to fake it. 3) No matter what the result, someone is always eager to misinterpret it. 4) No matter what occurs, someone believes it happened according to his pet theory. - FINAGLE'S LAWS
1) To study an application best, understand it thoroughly before you start. 2) Always keep a record of data. It indicates you've been working. 3) Always draw your curves, then plot the reading. 4) In case of doubt, make it sound convincing. 5) Program results should always be reproducible. They should all fail in the same way. 6) Do not believe in miracles. Rely on them. - FINAGLE'S RULES
A closed mouth gathers no feet. - FINSTER'S LAW
History doesn't repeat itself --- historians merely repeat each other. - FIRST RULE OF HISTORY
Blessed is the end user who expects nothing, for he/she will not be disappointed. - FRANKLIN'S RULE
1) At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer. 2) Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable. 3) Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited. 4) Investment in reliability - GILB'S LAWS OF UNRELIABILITY
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made. - LYME'S FORMULA FOR SUCCESS
Whoever has the gold makes the rules. - THE GOLDEN RULE OF ARTS AND SCIENCES
If the shoe fits, it's ugly. - GOLD'S LAW
If a research project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing well. - GORDON'S FIRST LAW
There is an exception to all laws. - GOVERNMENT'S LAW
Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about. - GREEN'S LAW OF DEBATE
The amount of expertise varies in inverse proportion to the number of statements understood by the general public. - GUMMIDGES'S LAW
The probability of a given event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability. - GUMPERSON'S LAW
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity. - HANLON'S RAZOR
Your ``IBM PC-compatible'' computer grows more incompatible with every passing moment. - HARP'S COROLLARY TO ESTRIDGE'S LAW
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. - HARRISON'S POSTULATE
The first myth of management is that it exists. - HELLER'S LAW
Inside every large program is a small program struggling to get out. - HOARE'S LAW OF LARGE PROGRAMS
Don't take life too seriously; you won't get out of it alive. - HUBBARD'S LAW
It won't work. - JENKINSON'S LAW
Toothaches tend to start on Saturday night. - JOHNSON-LAIRD'S LAW
All laws are basically false. - LARKINSON'S LAW
A program generator creates programs that are more ``buggy'' than the program generator. - THE LAST ONE'S LAW OF PROGRAM GENERATORS
Everybody lies; but it doesn't matter since nobody listens. - LIEBERMAN'S LAW
When the going gets tough, everyone leaves. - LYNCH'S LAW
The one day you'd sell your soul for something, souls are a glut. - MASON'S FIRST LAW OF SYNERGISM
The quality of correlation is inverely proportional to the density of control. (The fewer the data points, the smoother the curves.) - MAY'S LAW